Theres a place for us, somewhere a place for us
Peace and quite and open air, wait for us somewhere...
Theres a time for us, someday there'll time for us
Time together and time to spare, time to learn, time to care...
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living
Will find there's a way of forgiving
Somewhere....
Theres a place for us, a time and a place for us
Hold my hand and we're half way there
Just hold my hand and i take you there....
Somehow.....
Someday..... Somewhere........
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Someday, Somewhere Soon, Papa
TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER
TRIBUTE TO MY FATHER
My Father passed away last April 07, 2006 at the age of 50. My father was one of the most important person in my entire life. God I miss him! There is unbelievable pain that goes with knowing that someone you love is suffering. He was a diabetic and had a lot of complications including his kidney problems in which he undergo dialysis 2 to 3 times a week for a year before he died. It was like a cancer that he knew… we all knew, that hes not going to live longer.
He’s very strict and very protective to the family. Although he looks strong and seldom smile, he is very emotional and sensitive inside. He has this unique way of expressing he’s love to us and to his parents and sisters. We grew in his very authoritarian way. Until I graduated from my college, he almost never allowed us to go out at night with friends (that’s why I took up night classes on my last year in college. :-) lol). We were never allowed to go to the neighborhood and chat with them (well, not as long as he knew). But I love him despite of his sometimes unfair rules. I understood it when I started to take over the responsibilities in our family when he became sick and couldn’t able to work. I understood that someone in the family has to be strong and firm and strict or even harsh sometimes.
We had a lot of misunderstanding especially when he became more of a nagger, hot headed and annoying because he felt irritable in his situation. I know in my heart that I hurted him. But that is how he loved me. He forgave and always believed in me. He’s the best mentor I ever had in my life. I really don’t know how to live without him. My life, my decision, my everything…. revolved around him. My life seems so different now.
I regret the times that I wasn’t there to comfort him. I regret the times Ive skip a week or two or even a month to visit him. I regret the moment I wasn’t able to be beside him when he can not sleep, or eat, or walk. But God knows I wanted to. I just cant bear the pain of seeing my beloved father in pain. It was so painful to see such a strong man crumble under such a horrible illness. And God knows how sorry I am that he didn’t have the chance to go to the church of Manaog as he requested for a long time. I managed to schedule it by holy Monday of April 10, but he had a stroke on the 1st of April and was comatose for couple of days. I remember how happy and excited he was when we finally got a schedule to go to Manaog. He even promised to condition he’s body for a two day trip. Oh God, im so sorry pa…
We have watched as he lay dying, as he gasped for his next breath. He was in coma for 6 days before passing. Almost all support was removed, as I supposed they were also removed from us. The whole family spent days and nights in the hospital waiting for him to finally say, hes going to rest. Sleepless nights, unbearable fear of losing him and tiredness.
I remember the father I had. I recalled things long forgotten. He is the best father for me. He loves food so much (super!). He loves to sing. He will always find ways to help others. I know in my heart that he is a sweet person but he remained to look firm and strong to us (not unless theres a nice and yummy food in front of him:-)). Its funny that as I get older, I realize how much like my father I really am. I think that I have his sense of pride – sense of pride in doing a job well done. My father taught me of my love of playing cards!! Hehe. He thought me to fight for what I believe – hopefully being tactful along the way. I think both of us don’t have a nice sense of humor :-). Same as strict, hot headed and over protective to the family I guess.
“I miss you so much, pa. I owe you all that I am today. I have made mistakes but thank you for always believing in me. Im sorry for all our disagreements perhaps to our countless misunderstandings. But we both know that loving doesn’t always mean we agree. Thank you for encouraging me to become independent, strong and fair. We will surely miss you"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PAPA. ILL SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU…
My Father passed away last April 07, 2006 at the age of 50. My father was one of the most important person in my entire life. God I miss him! There is unbelievable pain that goes with knowing that someone you love is suffering. He was a diabetic and had a lot of complications including his kidney problems in which he undergo dialysis 2 to 3 times a week for a year before he died. It was like a cancer that he knew… we all knew, that hes not going to live longer.
He’s very strict and very protective to the family. Although he looks strong and seldom smile, he is very emotional and sensitive inside. He has this unique way of expressing he’s love to us and to his parents and sisters. We grew in his very authoritarian way. Until I graduated from my college, he almost never allowed us to go out at night with friends (that’s why I took up night classes on my last year in college. :-) lol). We were never allowed to go to the neighborhood and chat with them (well, not as long as he knew). But I love him despite of his sometimes unfair rules. I understood it when I started to take over the responsibilities in our family when he became sick and couldn’t able to work. I understood that someone in the family has to be strong and firm and strict or even harsh sometimes.
We had a lot of misunderstanding especially when he became more of a nagger, hot headed and annoying because he felt irritable in his situation. I know in my heart that I hurted him. But that is how he loved me. He forgave and always believed in me. He’s the best mentor I ever had in my life. I really don’t know how to live without him. My life, my decision, my everything…. revolved around him. My life seems so different now.
I regret the times that I wasn’t there to comfort him. I regret the times Ive skip a week or two or even a month to visit him. I regret the moment I wasn’t able to be beside him when he can not sleep, or eat, or walk. But God knows I wanted to. I just cant bear the pain of seeing my beloved father in pain. It was so painful to see such a strong man crumble under such a horrible illness. And God knows how sorry I am that he didn’t have the chance to go to the church of Manaog as he requested for a long time. I managed to schedule it by holy Monday of April 10, but he had a stroke on the 1st of April and was comatose for couple of days. I remember how happy and excited he was when we finally got a schedule to go to Manaog. He even promised to condition he’s body for a two day trip. Oh God, im so sorry pa…
We have watched as he lay dying, as he gasped for his next breath. He was in coma for 6 days before passing. Almost all support was removed, as I supposed they were also removed from us. The whole family spent days and nights in the hospital waiting for him to finally say, hes going to rest. Sleepless nights, unbearable fear of losing him and tiredness.
I remember the father I had. I recalled things long forgotten. He is the best father for me. He loves food so much (super!). He loves to sing. He will always find ways to help others. I know in my heart that he is a sweet person but he remained to look firm and strong to us (not unless theres a nice and yummy food in front of him:-)). Its funny that as I get older, I realize how much like my father I really am. I think that I have his sense of pride – sense of pride in doing a job well done. My father taught me of my love of playing cards!! Hehe. He thought me to fight for what I believe – hopefully being tactful along the way. I think both of us don’t have a nice sense of humor :-). Same as strict, hot headed and over protective to the family I guess.
“I miss you so much, pa. I owe you all that I am today. I have made mistakes but thank you for always believing in me. Im sorry for all our disagreements perhaps to our countless misunderstandings. But we both know that loving doesn’t always mean we agree. Thank you for encouraging me to become independent, strong and fair. We will surely miss you"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, PAPA. ILL SEE YOU WHEN I SEE YOU…
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