em back! break it no... what no. na ba?

i know wala namn akong blog follower hehehe. but its oryt, just wanted say something kung pd everyday. this is like my on line diary. ok tama na ang paliwanag :-) wheww

ofcors, its useless to say something about my visit to the Philippines coz its like ages na. mag two months na din since i got back here in disyerto. but.... makulet ako i still say something. blog ko kaya to noh hehehe.

The first time i saw my daughter after almost 10 months of being away from her was something you wont imagine me saying. hahahaha. my mom and my sister with of course my darling daughter Khiki (call her now Khiki since my 2yo nephew call her that way) pick me up at the airport. My mom was holding her and i said, Its Khiki! nyehhh ang pangit, ang payat and whats up with the nose hahaha. And Khiki was just looking at me, she smiled and close her face with her hand. and its so cute and so sweet. im sure di pa nia naiintindihan ang sinabi ko na yun. pero pamatay ng anak ko ang smile nia. just look at the pics... hehehe. And i had a great time with her. shes so kulit and so emotera.

well everything is about expenses na so no need to detail. my mom was hospitalized ofr 3 days dahil sa kakalaklak ng matamis. almost 300 ang sugar level ng lolah at nag eeror ang BP. super kaba syempre. pero lam ko namn na di pa si kunin ni Lord hehe.

At syempre nakasingit pa ako sa travel papuntang sagada, with my ever loyal best friend with benefits Ujin hahaha. It was a very nice experience. super ganda ng Sagada. Those who love nature will appreciate it. We did a lot of trekking and spelunking the whole day. Lahat lakad lang, as in. super pagod but really worth it. its like i was in the other side of the world. really! Super haba lang talaga ng byahe but, as ive said its totally worth it. Bring of course someone like Ujin to really appreciate the place... hey! mountaineer kasi sia hehehe.

ciao!

Break the Silence 4

Sobrang excited na ko dahil bakasyon ako sa Pinas ng 3 weeks. Yey! I bought the ticket since January pa so imagine kung gaanu ako ka excited. I’ve been preparing my itinerary since then at sa dami ng plano ko like swimming sa Bataan, makigulo sa Baguio, at magpaka adventure sa mga kweba ng Sagada, awa ng Diyos walang matutuloy. But one thing for sure, magkasama kami ng anak ko for the rest of my vacation. Well sana maka bisita din kami sa libingan ng Dad nia.

Hmmm I won’t let eating lechon, fish ball (with original street sauce), and of course food sa Jollibee, Aristocrat, at Max pass. Iba pa rin ang original pinoy. May Jollibee nga dito but really awful. Magkaibang magkaiba sa Pinas. Only Mary Brown serves gravy. KFC, Jollibee, McDonalds etc, walang gravy. Its horrible coz I love gravy.

Bukod sa food tripping, wish ko lang may magawa pa kaming masaya sa bakasyon ko but for sure I have to cut those expenses na hindi kailangan. This morning, we had a company meeting. Supposedly, bonus month ngayon, but because of the economic crisis, kaysa magtanggal at magbaba ng sahod, wlang bonus. Still im blessed di ba? Daan libo na ang nawalan ng trabaho dito.. Though torture pa rin dahil ang sabi within 3 to 6 months will have a meeting again kung anu ang status ng bawat isa sa amin, mas mabuti na rin at least I still have at least 3 months. What else can I do? Everyone’s is keeping their fingers crossed. Instead of torturing myself, I should at least find some ways to keep up. And I am now trying to study and learn the secret of law of attraction hehehe.

Anyway, looking forward to a wonderful and fruitful vacation sa Pinas. Have a good life everyone!!

Stand For Change

One day, a guy calls up his Boss at home, but gets the bosses’ wife instead.
She said, “I’m sorry, but he died last week.”
The next day, the man calls up again and asks for his boss.
She said, “I told you, he died last week.”
The third day, the guy calls up again and asks for his boss.
The wife was mad and shouted, “Don’t you understand? I already told you twice—MY HUSBAND, YOUR BOSS, DIED LAST WEEK! Why do you keep on calling?”
The guy laughed and said, “Because I just love hearing it…”


Hahaha…. Funny isn’t it? There are lots of people who are just like him. Stuck in life I guess. He waited too long for his boss too die and be happy. Clearly he’s angry with his boss. Isn’t it life would be so much easier if he tried to change his life when his boss was still around? He could have confronted his boss or change his job.

I had a Chinese Filipino boss when I was in San Mig Corp. He was the previous owner of Sugarland Corp before it was acquired by the SMC and I got the job during the transition period. At that time, he was also the president of the Chinese Filipino Business Club and a friend of former President Estrada (or shall we call it balimbing friend because he was seen together with GMA after oust of Erap). I was in the HR group and unfortunately I was also assigned as his temporary personal assistant (since nobody could stand him). He is the cruelest boss I have ever met in my life. He would use terrible, awful, embarrassing words when he’s angry even in front of other employees. He would throw things when his mad and anybody cannot use the elevator when he gets in. He would sometimes use sign language when he needs you to do something and a big trouble comes up whenever I don’t understand what he means. My common sense was overused (now its not working well hehe). I would usually stand/walked on my toes whenever I go into his office because the whole room has parquet flooring and one bit of noise from my shoes would make you pray so hard and hope you were never born. He would usually stay in the office for only 2 to 3 hours and when God sometimes forget to look out for me, the devil stays for the rest of the day and I would be standing beside his desk while he was on his chair working. It’s ridiculous, I know! And it’s a real hell. I always have a paper in my hand and writing those important words he would say while he was on the phone, in a meeting, or just talking to himself. But the rest of the day is like nakabibinging katahimikan (paki English) coz he will use sign language like get a paper, type this, call this, talk to this person, get him some poison, I mean water, It was exhausting. The last time I remember I entered that room was after he threw me out. Im gonna use tagalog so I could describe it with feelings. Ang impaktong halimaw na yun! Tumunog lang yung papel na hawak ko. As in yung lutong ng papel dahil inilagay ko sa likod ko galit na galit na pinagmumura ako. I was shock. Well mainit na talaga ulo nia nung dumating sia and I was the lucky one para sa sumalo ng tantrums nia. I was just looking at him nung nanlalaki ang mata nia sa galit. Pinalabas nia ako at wag na daw babalik sa office nia. I get out (still in my toes walking very slowly). After I close the door, I cried. At last hahaha. Im free.
It was a real traumatic experience. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat and I was praying for him to die. I was transferred to manufacturing plant office in Mandaluyong to assist on the HR manager. Just when I thought everything was doing well. I was again requested by the devil to be his temporary assist whenever he visits the plant office because he knew I know him well. When he came he just smirks at me and asked me to get him a juice. It was the start of my nightmare again. Though he would visit the plant 2 to 3 times a week for a couple of hours only, it is still unbearable being around him. Sabi nila baka inlove lang sa akin. Mygadd! “If this is love darling, now’s the time to wake up, hurting words can really shake up someone’s life” (kanta pa talaga hehehe)

I resigned from that company after a couple of months but not because of him. It was a personal reason. But whenever I recall what I have been through with that person, I always wish I have done something better on the situation. Well I had a thought of leaving the company before because of him but I was so afraid of change. I was afraid I could not find any more promising job other than what I have. I felt like I’m stuck in that situation and thought I have no choice. And in order for me to survive in a giant corporation like SMC, I have to hang on no matter how unpleasant the situation is. But its not. I could have chosen to make a change, to fight for my right, or leave the company after slapping him or confront him and curse him and kill him like give him a poison or at least just spit on his water hehehe.

Life would be so much easier if, when we hit a snag in life or relationship, we would stop, address it and move ahead smoothly. The truth is in most case we could do just that. The reality is we don’t do it. We keep on moving. Same with those people who stayed in a unrequited or lopsided love who’s afraid to just throw their unworthy partner in the burning oil (joke) I mean just leave and move on. We allow little insults to become raging angers, little arguments to become festering feuds, little pains to become deep wounds and we keep moving. We keep hurting. We keep poisoning our lives.

Be willing to face the situation. Stand your ground but don’t lose yourself. You are more than equipped to handle any situation when you know you are right. Have courage and be upright coz no matter what you get in return for the good things or love you give, know that you are protected. Divinely protected. Your only goal will be to live, love and be happy. If you want your life to change, then you have to change.

“Life can either be accepted or changed. If it is not accepted, it must be changed. If it cannot be changed, then it must be accepted.”

Break the Silence 3

“There are funny thing about love. It will find you in the most unusual circumstances at the most unlikely times. Love will come upon you, throw its arms around you and transform your entire existence”

Thank God its Thursday! Weekend na bukas (Fri and Sat ang weekend d2 sa Dubai) Anyway, habang nag uupload sa FTP, magmunimuni muna tayo.

Naaalala mo pa ba ang mga nakakatawang nangyari sayo nung una kang magkacrush? Hahaha etoh nag uumpisa na akong mag imagine.

Minsan corny at talaga namang mukhang tanga. Hayyy. Gaga talaga. Kahit saan ka magpunta, matutulog ka na lng iisipin mo pa. Saan kaya ang susunod na gala namin hmmm. Kahit nga sa palengke lang siguro magpunta masaya na ako. Nung una akong magka crush, mayroon kaming pondahan nuon (tindahan ng halo halo at mami at minsan alak na karaniwang bukas pagdating ng hapon sa mga probinsiya). Sabi ng pinsan ko nandiyan na sila alex (di tutuong pangalan hehehe). Si alex isang binata kong manliligaw sa probinsiya na gwapo may itsura, payat, tambay lng at nagttrabaho kapag taniman o anihan sa bukid. Mabait at tahimik. At makalaglag panti kung ngumiti. PAgkasabi sa akin ng pinsan ko na papadating sila alex pumasok ako sa loob ng bahay dahil grabe ayaw matanggal ng ngiti ko sa mukha. Walang biro pinipilit kong irelax ang sarili ko talaga namn pong ayaw matanggal ng ngiti ko at parang feeling ko babaliktad ang ngalangala ko. At etoh pa ang nakakahiya kasi tumalon ako ng dalawang beses dahil masaya ako. (di ko alam kung bakit noh) Di ko alam na nanduon ang pinsan kong lalaki na nakita siguro yung huling lundag ko na nakangiti hahahaha. Bigla ako ngumiwi sabi ko parang may biglang pumasok sa tenga ko kaya niyugyog ko. Sabi niya bakit ako nakangiti, sabi ko hindi ngiti yun para mapagalaw lang ang pisngi ko noh dahil kulisap yata ang pumasok sa tenga ko. Tapos sinabayan ko ng pasok sa banyo at kunwari umuubo ako. Sobrang kaba ko na baka mahalata nia na napatalon ako sa tuwa dahil na labas ang crush ko. Pero sure akong hindi halata dahil hayup mang aasar yun. Namamahiya talaga. To make the story short. Hindi naging kami ni alex. Hindi ko alam kung bakit. Matagal na kasi madami na akong hindi maalala. Pero maraming kwento na nakakatuwa sa ibat ibang tao na na meet ko. Naging crush, naging jowa, manliligaw. Masaya at super intense ang feeling. And there’s this guy na hindi ko naman first kiss pero pohtah sia ang pinaka memorable kiss ko. Di ko maintindihan basta halos matagal lng ng konti sa smack sa lips pero unforgettable. Nakatayo lng kami sa isang street sa isang subdivision sa kapt pepe subd. Sabi niya i-kiss daw nia ako, of course ok lng sa akin noh. Halos nawala yata ang kaluluwa ko ng sandali nung kiniss na nia ako. Walang joke. Meron nga yata talagang unforgettable kiss. And im proud to say na unforgettable kiss din daw nia yun at di nia maintindihan hehehe (sabi nia, ewan ko kung totoo.. liars go to hell). Sandali lng na relasyon but one of the best. Walang 3rd party, there was love on both side pero di ko na rin alam what happened. Basta I just had to say goodbye. O sia isingit ko na nga din si First Kiss. Me and my big mouth kasi ang drama. Of course alam nia na sia ang magiging first kiss ko kaya ayun nag pa impress ang loko. In short na shock ako. Sobrang hinalukay yata ang ngalangala ko. Walang dating and so gross… so disgusting. Naikwento ko sa friend (lam nio namn ang girls) ayun break agad after two days hehe. Etoh pang isa, si Paco (kasi kahawig ni Paco Arespacochaga daw pero mas kahawig ng pako sa bubong hehehe joke) sinagot ko habang palabas ng school. Sabi ko “sige na nga tayo na” sabay sakay ko ng sasakyan at sibat. Hahaha. Kitang kita ko na gulat na gulat habang palayo ang trike. Di makapaniwala. Actually ako din hehe. Sa sobrang tense ko napasakay na ako trike at iniwan sia. Kaya kinabukasan nung makita ko uli sia sa school mga ilng oras kaming di nagsalita. Meron pa akong naging super close na classm8 nung college kala ko kami na kasi super dikit nga eh. Poohtah friends lang pala kami. Assuming lang pala ako nun. Sarap tagpasan ng ulo hmmmp. Wag nio na itanung kung panu ko nalamn friends lng kami. After a month, nanligaw sa akin ang kyufal na yun, of course he’s basted na noh. Hmmm sinu pa ba? Ah si Muyot, ang animal na yun. Tumawag ako sa bahay nila at sabi ko punta sia sa bahay. Nakahanda na ang break up letter ko na iniwan ko sa mommy ko na binilinan ko na iabot kay Muyot pag dumating (kasi hindi ko kayang sabihin sa kanya ng personal) Guess what? Hindi nagpunta ang halimaw. Iniwasan na ako. Pag tumatawag ako sa bahay nila sasabihin nasa banyo, natutulog, nasa labas, nasa bubong, sa lahat na ng sulok mundo nia. Na shock ako syempre kasi wala namng may alam na makikipagbreak ang lola sa halimaw na lolo. Kahit nakikita ako sa school iniiwasan ako. Syempre may pride namn akong natira, of course di ko na rin sia kinausap. Nung malamn ko ang reason, may ibang gf pala at buntis pa. Akala nia kaya ko sia pinapunta sa bahay para awayin dahil sa akalang alam ko na. Hinayupak talaga. Buti na lng di ako nadevelop. Paanu na kung nadevelop ang like ko sa kanya hehe. Eh di super brokenhearted ako.Anyway, friends na uli kami and he’s happily married.

Well, matindi nung matagpuan ko si soulmate. Ibang level na ito. I don’t wanna miss a thing na ang kanta ko and how do I live without you.. This is the time when you think pwede ng ibigay ang buong kaluluwa. Kahit mag aaway kami, maya maya ok na uli. Kahit di sia marunong mag txt back, kahit palaging late, kahit sobrang kuripot, kahit minsan baduy, kahit panget mukha, kahit corny ang joke, kahit nakakahiya siyang magsayaw, kahit minsan amoy kalye, kahit bugnutin, lahat ng kahit na….. its always worth it. Ganun talaga. Yun nga lang maaga sia kinuha ni Lord. Anyway, happy na ako sa 7 years na nakasama ko sia kasi may chikiting na kami na saksakan ng bungisngis. Hayyy yun lang.

Happy Weekend sa mga taga DXB!! :-)

Break the Silence 2

Break the silence 2

Super silent na dito sa office. Bukod sa wala ang mga bossing, konti na lng ang natitira sa amin dahil sa recession. Ang ibang mga office na katabi namin nagbawas na rin ng tao or yung iba nagsara na or maybe lumipat lng ng ibang bldg dahil ang mahal ng upa d2 sa emirates towers. Sabi nila may ofc dito yung gwapong anak ni Sheikh Mohammed. Kaso mag iisang taon na ako dito di ko pa nakasabay sa lift. Yung ka ofcmate ko nakasabay na daw nia. Syempre daming bodyguards. Well at least pd pa rin sumabay sa lift kahit nanudun sia.

Hmm tahimik pa rin talaga. Ang maririnig na lng ay ang di ko mapigil na tunog ng paghigop ko ng kape at ang maingay na sounds ni sweet sa kabilang kwarto (please note – naka headset pa sia nun), at yung amerikana sa corner floor na mahilig makipag usap sa speaker phone ng landline nila. Buong floor dinig kahit personal calls nia. Buti sana kung may ginagawa sia habang nakikipag usap. Kaso nakaharap, nakayuko at nakatutok lang yung face nia sa phone. Bakit kaya dia gamitin yung hand receiver.

Etoh talagang si palkolito nasa London ofc na may inuutos pa rin. At gusto pa call ko sia kapag nareceive ko na email nia. If I know, gusto lang nia marinig boses ko. In love na sia talaga. Anu kayang unang greetings ko. Ahhmmm how are you? How was your trip? How’s London ofc? Pd na ba yun? Ok… this is it.

Well… its just all about work. What do I expect hmp. But the last part goes like this. “Is there something more we need to discuss?” Yes!!! I mean, that would be all, John. Hehehe. Bye muahh. charot haha

Good day!!

Break the Silence 1

Oo na… mas gusto ko pang kausap sarili ko. Masyado kasi moody itong bibig ko. Ayaw lumabas ang gustong sabihin. Sabi ni bestfriend umaandar pagkataklesa ko kapag stressed ako. Walang preno. Tulad kanina ang makulit na kaofcm8 ko na si sweet (south African version ni john lapus) pinainit ulo ko. Pinipilit akong umakyat sa 42nd flr para mag join sa easter breakfast. Ayoko kaya noh. Kakausapin na namn ako ng mga multi-accent, multi cultural and multi lingual ek ek sa buong floor. Mga camote sila, kung sila sila hindi magkaintindihan sa mga accent nila, ako pa! My goodness! Di ba nila nahahalata na 100 times na ako nag sosorry at come again at saka pardon me. Tapos sasabihin nila tahimik ako. Haller!! Isa lng ang tanung ko (like hello or how are you) one million words na ang sagot nila. com’on! Marunong namn akong magsulat at magsalita ng English kaso ang hirap intindihin ng mga accent ng mga nyemas na toh. Pero in fairness mas naiintidihan ko silang magsalita kaysa sa mga Pana dito. Isa lng ang tunog ng salita ng mga pana…. Dubburrudubdubur habang nagssway sway ang head hehehe. Peace my friend!. Tapos etoh naming si Shameega sa reception sarap saktan. Nagpapasa sa akin ng call parang loro namn kung magsalita, matinis na parang pilit ang british accent. Sabagay di siya Briton. Isang maitim na may kakaibang pagka blonde ng buhok. Pero di sia niger. Mukhang sunog na mais lang hehe. Pero mabait yun saka galing magdala ng super high heels na shoes.

Hay naku magkakape nga muna ako. Parang feeling ko inaantok ako. Sabagay kahit ipilit ko naman di rin ako makakatulog anitch. Tulad kahapon ipinipilt ko sana ang pagtulog ng matagal ng mas mahaba pa sa 8 hrs kaso halos magkandaduwal ako. Ang hirap pilitin matulog. Pang human beings lang nga yata ang pag tulog. Anyway, ayokong sayangin ang araw ko sa kakatulog..

Dumadagundong na naman ang buong floor sa ingay ng yabag ni sweet. Feeling busy ang bruha at nagmamarunong na namn. As in super bitch na bading. Kahapon mainit ang ulo, malamang may mens ang haliparot na yun hmp.

Umalis na ang amerikanong praning na si palkolito na ka ofcmate namin papuntang London. Duon namn mangugulo. Ma mimiss ko ang lokong yun. Kahit na puro utos ang pintaserong payatot na yun, at least mabait na rin. Oh nose, in love na yata ako sa kaniya, echos hehe! Di kami bagay langit ako, lupa sia haha. Parang baliktad. Eh kasi namn di sia na niniwala kay God basta ang sabi nia gumagawa lang sia ng mabuti. First time kong makakilala ng atheist pero sabi nila madami daw sa puti yun. Hay di ko ma imagine na hindi maniwala kay God noh. Kaysa namn maniwala ako sa Lord of the Rings hehe.

Nyemas back to work na nga uli.

How to Deal with Feeling Bitches

I had a terrible, challenging, and exciting experience on dealing with a feeling bitch before. At first, I just let her bully me with her nonsense comments and normally she can easily piss me off. Through mails, public sites and text messages. (Thats why i had to cancel some of my mailing accounts) Then I realized, ignoring her is not the answer.

I found some advise on how to deal with her through some sites and it works on me! Yes it is fun, fun to piss her off via ironical mails but saying reasonable and unbeatable truth. Its true as Vera says The Bitches game is very interesting when you drive those feeling bitches crazy by “not being feeling bitchy but elegant bitch”.

Learn how to deal with the (feeling) bitches smartly and feel like grown up.

1. Never show fear. Get control over your self and take a few deep breaths .This will give you time you need to override your natural responses. Keeping calm gonna piss her off coz it’s a message loud and clear that she hasn’t gotten to you.

2. Deliver a rebuttal that makes her backdown and puts you in charge.

3. Feel sorry for them. Its difficult to get angry with people when you pity them. They don’t have a grasp on their own lives and therefore try to shatter someone else’s because inability to control their own jealousies. It is a condition that deserves pity and compassion, but also intolerance.

4. Look at yourself from their perspectivelt’s good to get another viewpoint. Very few of us are perfect. We might have a trait that sends everybody else crazy.

A woman should be proud to declare she is a Bitch, because Bitch is Beautiful (and she is not - haller!). It should be an act of affirmation by self and not negation by others. Not everyone can qualify as a Bitch. (kaya dont assume you are a bitch).

5. SMILE! BE HAPPY, CONFIDENT, FABULOUS, and GORGEOUS!

I know this doesn't look like a grown up to me. But .....whatever! cheers!